A Snowball of Thoughts

I have been listening to Christmas music now for almost 3 months, and it's just now October. :)  Actually it is Mariah Carey's Christmas album that I listen to. Her songs about Jesus, in particular, "Jesus, What a Wonderful Child".  Every time I hear it I get so uplifted, and I just wanna shout to the world my feelings of adoration for MY GOD!

For years I have a constant inner struggle about getting to church.  In my head I am arguing about how I need to get to church every Sunday, but the voice of excuses always wins.  That's my day! I want to sleep in-  It's family day- and to take a whole hour out for church is craziness, right? Ugh.... WRONG!

I suppose that much of it has to do with the fact that the hubby is not on board with me. He has his beliefs in God, but they don't consist of any organized religion per say.  He hates to get up out of bed and go on his day off.  I guess he doesn't get anything out of it the way that I do. I feel so recharged.  I feel blessed, and part of something bigger. I feel closer to God.  I just feel better when I make it to service.

Anyways, needless to say, I rarely make it to church. 

Another endless thought that runs through my mind constantly is how I want to start volunteeting.  I want to help a family that needs REAL help.  I want to make someone's day brighter. I guess I really just do not know where to start.  Where can I make a difference?  Will I really make a difference? 

There have been some really strange, yet interesting things happening in my life lately.  Things that I talk to God about, somehow have a way of manifesting.  I don't want to go in to great deal, as some of these things are private- but it has been amazing to me to see, and has really opened my eyes to the Lord.

I have made several changes in my life lately.  Somehow each and every one of these changes have become intertwined with eachother.  I guess I feel closer to whatever it is my life is meant for. Not sure that I have it exactly figured out, but the unfolding of the mystery has fascinated me.

Recently I received a letter from my church asking for Quinton to start Comfirmation. This letter has gotten me back to church.  We did make it to service this morning. It was amazing as it is every time.  I signed my name on the volunteer sheet for a Thrursday evening coming up.  It is nothing big, but maybe a start to something more? 

My job has been very stressful lately.  I can't count the number of things that are great about my job, but I am also feeling this urge deep inside me to start thinking about a new challenge.  I have started back at college full time recently- and I have some ideas of where I am wanting things to go. I just know that whatever I do, I want it to be something that fulfills me completely.

My children are growing like crazy, and all too soon, they won't need me like they used to.  For now I am trying to focus on the path I want to make sure they go down. One is that they are involved in church, and that any time they challenged they turn to God. On the flip side, every time they feel joy, they THANK GOD. 

Thinking about that made me think of the holidays.  It made me think of our family rituals.  Before they get too much older I want them to have a new ritual.  I want them to remember the holidays were not always just gifts and what they received, but to remember how we have lifted up Jesus; how we celebrate his birth. 

This Christmas I want everything to be different.  I want it to be centered around one thing: Jesus.  So how do I do this?  I do not mean that I just want to make sure we make the Christmas Eve service and then go home and rip open presents.  I want more than that. I want to help another family. I want to carol and sing of his of name.  I want to spread his joy and his love.  I want others to join, I want something big.  Something my kids will remember as the best Christmas ever- and something that will get them super excited to do again not only next Christmas, but more often through the year. 

I am totally open to suggestions.  I always get excited about something new like this- but then I tend to start overthinking, and get frustrated and drop the whole ordeal. 

This Christmas I want to smile more- even at the crowded store- let someone go in front of me. Surprise someone with kindness.  Bake cookies from scratch with the boys, while drinking hot chocolate, and singing songs of Jesus.

I am not even sure my thoughts here are very organized at all. I am super sleepy. I just want the holidays to come to be about making memories and for all those around me. 

"Jesus, Jesus


Oh what a wonderful child

Jesus, Jesus

So lowly meek and mild

Oh new life,new hope,new joy He brings

Won't you listen to the angels sing

Glory

To the new born King"